“Asking” versus “Telling”

Why "Ask"

Your boss is a full service 24/7 encyclopedia there is no question that he cannot answer and will not answer. Is it a good problem or a bad one? Actually it is bad problem to be facing as it means that there is only person who is shining in the organization and if he leaves or dies the operation will come to a standstill. Even while he is alive this organization is not growing as the boss is firefighting, doing others’ job and has no time to take the organization forward.

In a participant survey conducted 3 months after initial training on “Performance Coaching” one of the participants wrote “Initially it may help by showing ‘how to’ but it is far more productive if you use the approach ‘how would you.’ There could be not a better endorsement to the concept of “ask.”

Consider another scenario at a CA firm when managers started practicing “ask” approach with employees they found that the employees started genuinely researching business issues versus simply copying the results from Google search.

To “tell” is easy, the instructor feels good as it shows that he is intelligent, competent and knowledgeable. The listener too plays along as he does not have to take ownership. If the solution works there is no issue; if not the standard fall back is I did exactly as I was told -I take no ownership of the consequences.

Cynics might highlight what about when there is a medical emergency, people need to be rescued from raging fire; or on the borders where fighting has broken out. In everyday business these situations are few and far between and even in such exigencies it will be sensible to sit down and use the “ask” concept post event.

Asking is not that easy

First and foremost when you “ask” others for possible answers you believe that others have potential to come up with an answer. And you realize that the answer may not be perfect but once executed it will give much better results because the gap in the answer will be made up by excellent execution. There is an old adage that people support what they help create. All of this when looked through the prism of people development justifies the approach.

 The Magic formula of 1-3-1

 A successful leader had an interesting approach when it came to using the “asking” concept. This is what the formula stood for: when you go to the boss with a problem make sure that you have three possible solutions and one approach which you feel most strongly about already determined. I guess this boss did not have much problem in delegating, helping his people think critically, succession planning or in delivering on time.

 

“Asking” forces people to think, and more often than not when it is accompanied by some good questioning it helps in generating new ideas and new neural connections. Repeated use of this approach helps in developing talent. By the way it works with children at home too-try it out it is one of those safe and healthy activities.

Be Aware You Are Being Programmed

Locally and internationally the newspapers and the electronic media is abuzz with how governments have been eves dropping on our communication. Before we get startled on the actions of the big brother there is something far more intrusive than the current controversy and it roots can be found in the history of mankind. It is the “indirect influence” that one  person has on the behavior of another person. Psychologists call it the “induction process.” Let me illustrate what it looks in real life with an example.

Several years ago as a front a front-line trainer I delivered induction programs for those who had recently joined the company. To my utter surprise I could tell with reasonable accuracy which manager a participant worked with by simply observing him or her. My observation was based on some simple facts gathered from the way their managers acted when it came to attending learning sessions-If the manager was one who came early to the session they did the same; if the manager was a back bencher they sat at the back of the class; if the manager participated in discussion, dressed sharply and was well prepared they all did the same. A few years later when some of them got promoted many of their actions resembled closely with what they had observed in their manager.

It is very clear that we are greatly influenced by the expectations of our role model even though the role model may not have directly asked us to do so.

How does  "induction" work?

Here is one example of how the induction works in early child hood.

Answer some of these questions and the concept will become clear.

•  Growing up who was the most important person in your life?
•  What kind of a person he expected you to be?
•  Who you could not be for him or her?
• What were the consequences for acting that way (in the manner that he or she liked)?

The way you describe yourself today, your personality, can be explained by the way you answered the above questions.

The application at workplace

At the workplace the indirect influence works in the same manner as it does in personal life. If you have a boss who cooperates with his peers-his team members do the same; if he is polite and acknowledges people-his team members do the same; if he is always complaining- his team members follow his example. 

  

Leaders can leverage the concept of indirect influence in shaping behavior of the people around them. Along with financial incentives that companies offer the indirect influence is a powerful tool in the hands of leaders and managers.

The field of Human Psychology has identified several types of influences for example: denial, displacement, refusal, rationalization, repression, regression etc.

In summary watch out- you are continuously programming others and others are programming you.  If you are accepting programming act like a gold digger and pick only the best; if you programming others remember you are creating a legacy-act responsibly.

Public Apathy and Low Engagement in Businessworld: Lessons for All

The news of the accident in the tunnel in Jaipur, in which two lives were lost and the survivors unsuccessfully begged for help was neither shocking or surprising it was a simply an amplification of how numb our national conscious has become. The only discussion point is how we explain this to our children and the rest of the world.

In a recently published article in the Gallup Business Journal titled “Is India Having a Crisis of Soul” writers Deepak Chopra and Gallup CEO Jim Clifton have tried to provide some insights on why we as a nation have become so numb (http://goo.gl/lY74O).

According to Gallup World Poll, currently in its eight year, finds more Indians- than ever before-are suffering -31%-while fewer than 10% are thriving. These numbers are amongst the lowest in the world. The article further points out that any society which reaches such a low number is in trouble. When the suffering quotient reaching a tipping point street riots take place- examples of which we have seen lately.

Could the economic deprivation be the only explanation of this societal malaise?  No! There are multiple indicators which go into the calculation. A quote from the same article states “A nation’s soul is the sum total of all the interactions between all people in the society.   Every tiny decision that accumulates can profoundly change the day and even the rest of a person’s life.”

 

So what kind of interactions are we having as citizens with each other-are they positive, negative or neutral? Some may argue differently but I would say that overwhelmingly the experiences are negative. If TV and films were a mirror on the society and a mirror does not lie-the answer is glaring at us.

Lessons for the business world

It is often said that how employees treat each other has a bearing on how they will treat their customers. In this hyper competitive world here is one more reason why attention to the quality of interactions is important.

What can managers do?

Leaders and managers have an important responsibility to ensure that the quality of the experience and interactions in the workplace have positive value. Positive does not mean absence of difficult conversations; positive means that the larger context is never lost.

Soft skills have hard value
If an individual contributor is rewarded for his personal achievement, a manager is rewarded for the performance of his people. Daily employee-manager interactions have a lasting impact.

Some examples of these interactions are: feedback, opportunity to reflect, goal setting, encouragement for risk taking, relationship building, reprimand for mistakes, mutual respect, reward for outstanding work, performance comparison etc., will have a direct bearing on the level of engagement of the employees.

The questions that the senior leadership should ask are:

 

§      Are managers aware of the impact they have on people around them
§      Are they trained to have quality conversations with their team members
§      How often and where do such conversations happen-is it daily, weekly, monthly or only   
       when need arises?

If leaders are unsure of the answers to the above questions, results of an engagement survey may be a good place to start. If engagement surveys are not done find out what does your customer satisfaction survey says, how many innovative ideas are generated from your employees? In case you have not dived to such depths the two questions to ask are: Are you happy with your top and bottom line. That should be a good starting point.

The same Gallup Poll article states that only 9% of Indian employees are engaged and 33% are disengaged-meaning this group actively brings down those who are engaged.

After reading the above one can conclusively say that if one has to improve innovation, retention, collaboration, productivity and performance one of the way to do is by improving the quality of everyday interactions at workplace.

What is in a Thanks!

A few years ago a global insurer in its annual employee survey received an interesting feedback. Employees pointed out that senior management does not say “thank you” enough or put it another way acknowledge the efforts of the employees. At least the senior management quickly got the cue and made it a point from then on to recognize employee’s efforts right in the opening lines of all communication. Unfortunately the intention of the senior management did not percolate through the different layers of the organization.

With annual reviews round the corner it is a good time to reflect on the virtue of acknowledging others. May be, if managers make it a regular habit to acknowledge others there would be less turn over, higher engagement and increases will be based on performance and not as an inducement to stay with the organization.

Interestingly not all acknowledgements are same. Some are dry and impersonal like-thanks; and then are some which are empowering and encourage the person to repeat the effort over and over again without any external motivation.

Most people in their day to day personal or professional lives do not give much thought on “thanking” people. On the contrary those who make it a habit to acknowledge others enjoy enormous benefits from this simple quality.

Mark Goulston in his article “How to Give a Meaningful Thank You,” (http://goo.gl/CDxVE) argues that people are wrong to think that money, benefits or just having a job is good enough for employees.

According to Mark people who really make a difference in our lives (at home and at work) do not receive enough acknowledgements from us.  In the above article and in his book “Just Listen” he suggests using a “Power Thank You” instead of a regular “thanks.” A “Power Thank You” has three essential elements:

1.       It highlights specifically what the person did that was above the call of duty

      2.       It acknowledges the person for the effort (or personal sacrifice) that they made in
              completing the task
     3.       It clearly states what the task personally meant to you

Similarly Sandy V Abell in her article Compliment, Endorse or Acknowledge? (http://goo.gl/Ci22f) eloquently distinguishes between the three. According to her-

1.       A Complement is a positive statement about a behaviour or thing. But it is emotionally detached.

      2.       An endorsement is focused on a person’s ability or skills, and says something about them
      3.       An acknowledgment is even more personal and is the best of all, because it’s a positive
              comment that focuses on who the person is.

It goes without saying that whatever method you chose you have to be genuine in its use. And don’t worry whether it will work or not as there is enough research that it does. If you do it enough you may have just started a culture in your organization-that is what leadership is all about.